


Orange hue and silver light

by BrokenSymphony



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Complex marriage, Conspiracies, F/M, Gen, Guilty Rhaegar, Other, POV Elia Martell, bittersweet love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenSymphony/pseuds/BrokenSymphony
Summary: GRRM quoted in one of his interviews that Rhaegar and Elia's marriage was complex and a political marriage doesn't mean lack of warmth. The story dives into the complex dynamics of their relationship from the beginning till their end“He is strange”, Elia told her mother."Do you want me to pity you, my love? “ Elia asked mockingly. "Do you know what it feels to be the wife of a man who is a prince, a poet and a prophet, one who indulges in too much self-pity?"This is what their marriage had been, an odd comfortable silence, and a rock that stood the test of time.I don't love you; she wanted to say but didn't know how much of it was true anymore.
Relationships: Aerys II Targaryen and Elia Martell and Rhaegar Targaryen, Aerys II Targaryen/Rhaella Targaryen, Arthur Dayne and Rhaegar Targaryen, Doran/Oberyn/Elia, Elia Martell/Rhaegar Targaryen, Lyanna Stark/Rhaegar Targaryen
Comments: 11
Kudos: 22





	Orange hue and silver light

**_The first meeting_ **

The first time Elia saw her soon to be husband, her breathing hitched. The tales of the dragon prince’s other worldly beauty were well known from Winterfell to Dorne but Elia knew how tales are exaggerated and morphed when passed from one mouth to another, she chose to believe in them but not their extent. Now, sitting across the prince who looked more nervous than her, Elia realized the tales were true for once.

Prince Rhaegar was so beautiful that it can be deemed a crime. They had spoken at length about their lives and Elia understood that they were brought up more or less alike, born out of royalty and groomed to rule. Elia was not shrewd and cunning like Doran nor passionate and reckless like Oberyn. She was like the rising sun, with an orange hue and a warm glow, with intelligence and kindness. The prince she was supposed to marry shone like the brightest star, all silver with a cold light.

Rhaegar came to Dorne to honor his betrothal with the Dornish princess and a tourney was held in their celebration. Rhaegar was honest when Elia asked him about the king’s state of mind. His face was twisted with pain, he sounded defeated but his words were short and true. He didn’t sugarcoat the reality like her mother, nor played it diplomatically like her brother yet Elia couldn’t feel beyond the melody in his voice before the wheels of her mind started spinning again. The charisma that the dragon prince eluded was dangerous; it can draw anyone in but what made him endearing was that he seemed oblivious to the effect he had or the power he wielded.

Elia tried to look through him, through his amethyst eyes, and the harder she tried, the deeper she slipped. His eyes were like endless pools of still water, clear but bottomless. Elia shuddered at the darkness they could hide. His voice was strong; but his words were soft; his hands were hard but the touch was gentle; his smile was warm but he looked sad; he had a caring heart but his mind was aloof. Rhaegar was everything a prince should be but there was something in him that transcended the boundaries of mortal understanding.

“He is strange”, Elia told her mother.

“You mean, mad. Mad like his father?” her mother tried to sound nonchalant but the quiver in her voice betrayed her.

“No, not mad, not even in the slightest”, Elia replied quickly, “Just a little strange as if …”, Elia trailed off unaware of the answer.

“All dragons are strange. It runs in their blood. As long as he is not mad or cruel, this betrothal will give us the chance to rule these seven kingdoms. Imagine Elia, the defeated look on the proud Tywin’s face”, her mother’s eyes gleamed with pride as she envisioned how her sweet revenge would sting Lord Tywin, forgetting totally that the conversation was about her daughter’s marriage with prince Rhaegar not lord Tywin and her war for throne.

Sighing Elia left her mother’s chambers; she was a Martell of Dorne; she didn’t need her mother. She would dive into the coldness of her betrothed and swim through the strange waters with her warmth and intelligence. Rhaegar might be an unfathomable sea but she was a sun and her light will unravel his depths one day, one step at a time, Elia decided.

Oberyn and Rhaegar rode towards each other, atop their horses, lances in their arms, their eyes unwavering from each other and as a dutiful princess, Elia cheered for her betrothed. When Rhaegar’s lance broke Oberyn, she clapped her hands in delight very well knowing that even if she had supported Oberyn, Rhaegar wouldn’t have minded in the slightest.

Rhaegar strode towards her and laid a crown of roses in her lap. She carefully picked up the crown, roses yellow and orange intertwined beautifully with each other and a pink hue crept up her cheeks when she put it atop her head. Elia looked up to see a brief smile crossing her betrothed’s face, his eyes flickered with a warmth that she felt happy with his gesture but whether he did it out of will or out of duty, Elia couldn’t place it.

Elia sat near the hearth during the evening feast, the heat from the flames fanning over her olive skin, a glass of Dornish wine carelessly held between her elegant fingers. Rhaegar walked to the center of court, a silver harp carefully held in his long hands and announced to play a song in honor of her. He touched the strings skillfully, one after another and a sad tune emerged blending into the thin air. Rhaegar closed his eyes and words flowed effortlessly from his lips, his voice even more melodic than the music of the harp.

Elia had never heard the song before. It was about the last surviving dragon that was forced to fight his brothers and sisters during the dance of Dragons. How he stood victorious and screeched in delight and pain, because he sounded so alone in the victory, his brothers and sisters lying still on the ground, bloodied and torn. Unable to bear the grief, he fled and hid in a dark pit, wanting to be forgotten and dead. The sun shone brightly on the day fire finally left his veins, freeing him from grief forever.

Despite the heat of the crackling flames and the spice of the Dornish wine, Elia felt a chill run down her spine. An unknown ache coursed through her heart. She was mesmerized and disturbed all at once. Her soon to be husband had a rare talent in music, Elia clapped along with others and a broken heart, she concluded, a thought confined to the walls of her mind.

Elia had been a little tipsy from the wine, her mother gave her a disapproving look, but she cared for none. Soon to leave the comfort of Sunspear and join her prince in the thrice damned King’s Landing, Elia decided to make the best of her remaining days. Oberyn, the little bastard had played his trick and made Rhaegar escort Elia to her chambers winking dangerously at her.

Rhaegar was being cautious with her as if she was a piece of thin glass which might break at the first obstacle. Truth to be told, Elia didn’t need Rhaegar. Even in full cups, she knew her home at the back of her hand. They had reached her chambers and her hand maidens had giggled when they saw their drunken princess and the uptight prince.

One sharp look and the maidens left from her room, head hung low bowing to both of them. Elia walked inside like a queen, carelessly throwing her crown on the bedpost and untangled her hair from the elaborate braids. She dropped herself on the bed, turning sideways motioning her betrothed to come and sit.

A look of disbelief flashed across Rhaegar’s solemn face and he opened his mouth to shut it immediately. He looked flushed and flabbergasted. A bubble of laughter echoed from Elia’s lips.

“I won’t besmirch the honor of the chaste prince of Westeros. He is in a safe place albeit being in the company of a not so innocent princess”, Elia teased, the Dornish wine making her bold.

Rhaegar had chuckled at that, removed the clock and his crown and placed them gently on the couch. He unbuttoned the top few buttons of his tunic and laid sideways to her. “I am more concerned about disappointing the princess whose little brother is known for being unpredictable and notoriously wild”, Rhaegar played along.

“Even my hot headed brother knew not to charge when a certain brooding dragon princess has become endearing to his equally hot headed niece”, Elia tried to sound cheeky but the sight of his pale white skin beneath the black tunic stirred her with desire.

“Princess”, Rhaegar raised his head in confusion, brows frowning together and for Elia he looked like a clueless child.

“My niece Arianne thinks you are the prettiest person she had seen in her life, prettier than her prettiest doll”, Elia giggled closing her mouth and Rhaegar laughed at that, a clear genuine laugh. Elia stilled for a moment before her hand involuntarily reached his heart, Rhaegar’s smile was a vision to behold. An awkward silence suddenly replaced their casual conversation.

Elia felt hard muscle beneath his soft flesh, his body was unusually warm and a steady heartbeat pounded through his ribcage. Rhaegar caught her wrist from venturing down; his hold was firm but not tight allowing her to jerk his hand away if she wanted. She leaned forward, her slim wrist still in his long hands, her pupils dilated and lips parted slightly, a sigh escaping her lips.

Rhaegar intertwined his fingers in her dark locks, pulling her ever so lightly towards him and pressed his lips on hers. His breath was hot like fire and he smelled like ash and smoke. Elia curled her fingers into his silken locks and pulled him closer to her body, leaving no space between them.

**_Wedding and initial days in King’s Landing_ **

****

The marriage was grand, a befitting affair for the grand noble prince of Westeros. Elia felt the familiar comforting cloak of sun and spear to be replaced with the dark and heavy three headed dragon. Rhaegar placed a chaste kiss to Elia's lips, too brief to feel anything. 

The feast was horrid, the tension was palpable and the silence hung heavy. The king didn't attend the wedding; afraid of getting killed and now that he graced them with his morbid presence; Elia thanked her stars for not tainting her marriage with his presence. 

She understood why things went awry between the father and son. Aerys humiliated Rhaella in public, calling her worthless and her womb weak, leering and touching every serving maid. He discredited his son at every opportunity calling him pathetic and useless to carry out their legacy. Even she was not spared from his slights, a Dornish bitch, an unfaithful cunt, she forgot the countless names that were heaped on her by the end of the feast. 

But she remembered the insult, the disregard. "At the right time", Elia reminded herself. The bedding ceremony was called. The ladies giggled hoping to rip the clothes of their beautiful prince and touch him. The men thumped their glasses on the table eager to lift Elia and discard her clothes. 

"I wish to grant your wife a great honor tonight, son", Aerys had spoken, his eyes gleaming with a malicious glint and Rhaegar's knuckles turned white. Elia exchanged nervous glances with her brothers, Doran seemed to sit uptight but Oberyn was ready to explode. 

"I will initiate the bedding", Aerys had announced clasping his hands in childish glee. Rhaella had choked on her wine, the music and merry died down, the men and women stared at their king dumbfounded and Elia stood rooted to her spot. Doran was trying to calm Oberyn, whispering promises that the mad king will pay and Elia's eyes flickered to her husband. 

Rhaegar's eyes held a rage, a rage too deep to hold, too strong to burn everything down and Elia wondered for the first time, what inferno her husband had kept in his sensitive heart. Before Rhaegar blasted like the dragon he was and jeopardized everything for them, Elia spoke, "It will be my pleasure, your grace", in the voice of a princess and with the grace of a sun and Rhaegar looked mortified. Soon both of them were lifted from the ground; Rhaegar closed his eyes in disgust and embarrassment. But Elia had them open. 

"I will remember every second of it", Elia decided. How that sickened fool grabbed her dress and tore it. The way his hands slid across her breasts and midriff, the wicked smile on his face, the happiness he felt for hurting his son through her. "One day you will stand naked and ashamed. I will make sure of that", Elia thought so will Doran and Oberyn. 

Rhaegar was standing in their room when she was placed naked in front of him, a thin garb loosely hanging from his slender body. 

"Do you wish to... ", Rhaegar trailed off glancing back and forth between her and the gown lying on the couch. 

"I am more comfortable like this", Elia replied, there was no need of clothes for them tonight, she thought and tried to gauge her husband's reaction. Rhaegar was clearly uncomfortable, looking everywhere except her. 

Elia quickly swallowed the sudden rush of anger, there is no use in straining a political match which hung on a delicate balance, she reminded herself, "Am I so abhorring to look at? ", Elia tried to sound normal. 

"No, you are not", Rhaegar was quick to reply, his eyes darting back to her before he looked down. The reality hit her hard. He was feeling guilty and ashamed; Elia didn't know how to react. 

Had he been a man like Oberyn, he would have thrown everything in a fit of anger and would have fucked his wife for the remaining night. Had he been someone like Doran, he would have promised her to avenge her honor, his mind running calculations and planning every step. But this was Rhaegar, her husband was a prince with the heart of a poet and everything about him was strange. 

Elia sighed forcing herself to be patient with her scholarly husband who was behaving like a guilty child. Elia gently squeezed his hand, she was disappointed with her mother for making her a means to get her revenge, hurt and angry with the mad king, but she bore no ill feelings towards her husband. He was as helpless as her brothers, if not more. Elia understood it well.

"A mad man is hard to control and a mad dragon king, most likely impossible. I would rather have him touch me inappropriately than see my husband in a cell on our wedding night for trying to fight for my honor", Elia said. 

"Your honor", Rhaegar was silent again and Elia waited till he was comfortable to continue. "I vowed to protect it. It is spoiled and I stood there like a statue", Rhaegar replied, his voice heavy with guilt. 

Elia felt bad for him. Her husband was intelligent but too soft and naïve sometimes. I must steer this conversation into other things before he slipped into melancholy, Elia thought. 

"Pray tell me how is my honor spoiled? Is it some cheese?” Elia asked bridging the gap between them. Rhaegar chuckled but stood silent. 

She poked his chest, "Then how do you wish to have it? With bread or wine? “Elia asked teasingly, a small smile tugging at her lips. 

"Wine", Rhaegar replied his own lips curving upwards mimicking her. 

"So, wine it is", Elia replied and poured a glass of wine. Before Rhaegar could take it, Elia took a sip from the glass. She laughed at his frown. 

"A man should only drink what he can handle. I am more than that you can handle", Elia smirked. 

Rhaegar took the glass from her and placed it carefully on the table. Elia groaned in frustration, "Do you have to be so proper all the time?”

"No", he replied pulling her roughly and capturing her lips with his. Elia's knees felt week at the intensity of emotions surging through and before they gave away, Rhaegar held her waist firmly. 

"Why do you smell like ash and smoke always?" She asked interrupting their kisses, her hands clumsily working at the knot of his tunic.

"Because I am a dragon ", Rhaegar whispered nibbling at her ear, deftly losing the knot of his tunic.

"Even in bed", Elia asked sliding the tunic down his body. 

"I will let you decide, my love", Rhaegar pushed Elia's giggling frame lightly onto their bed. He rolled on top of her and his long silver hair touched her shoulder blades sending warm tingling sensation down her body. 

His hands were hard from years of training and his fingers calloused from frequent plucking of the harp. His touches were as soft as a breeze but the roughness in his hands prickled her smooth skin. His kisses oscillated between languid and feverish, each one of them made her giddy with desire. His lips traversed along the column of her neck, lingering at her collarbone, his hands doing their own sweet things to her body.

Rhaegar doted on every inch of her body and Elia reeled in desire and moaned in pleasure. 

"How many before me? “ Elia asked between her moans.

Rhaegar titled her head stopping whatever ministrations his lips were doing to her, "Before you, only one. A prostitute from whom I learnt", he replied. 

"Must have been an excellent teacher", Elia jested.

"I was a perceptive student", Rhaegar chuckled. 

Tangled bed sheets, swollen lips, messed hair, flushed and tired bodies was all that remained by the time sun peeked through the curtains. Elia was engulfed in her husband's arms, his face buried in her neck, hands wrapped around her slim waist. 

"Not so bad", Elia thought as her handmaiden dried her wet hair after the bath and servants changed the bed sheets. 

Her mother had married for love. So, was her brother, Doran. And Oberyn gave his cock wherever he felt, whenever he felt without inhibitions. But she was thrown into a political marriage, a marriage for power, for revenge. 

Last night gave Elia a hope. She and Rhaegar can find a rhythm and hold onto it. 

Her days in kings landing were humiliating in the least. The women flattered her in the front and bitched about her behind her back. "Sickly woman for our dashing prince", they had called her. 

She was weak in health and hence deemed unworthy of their beloved prince. Foolish people only if they had known the power of an intelligent mind, Elia snorted. 

In Westeros, women were considered the weaker section, submissive to their male counterparts, only confined to pleasuring them and popping children out. Elia was glad, she was a Rhoynar , a princess of Dorne where women were treated as equals and their skills were appreciated whatever that might be. 

Elia didn't understand her husband. Strangeness and melancholy hung over the man like a cloud. He would spend many nights in library reading ancient books forgetting that he has a life beyond the books and scrolls. He would just sit staring into nothingness, aloof for hours, his mind somewhere within his private place. 

Arthur was the oldest friend of her husband, his loyal white shadow and Elia knew there were no secrets between them. She tried to get information from him, to know what ailed her husband, is it something that she must be afraid of, like the beginning of the infamous Targaryen madness. 

Arthur shook his head and replied sadly, "The King's growing paranoia is wearing him out". Elia knew that he was lying, somehow. 

Soon she memorized many things about her husband, the roughness of his hand, the length of his back, the weight of his head which he liked to place on her chest to listen to her heartbeat, the smoothness of his hair and the hotness of his breath. 

She learnt to pick his small gestures, how his fingers ticked when he was nervous, his lips pursued when something didn't make sense, how he barely slept when his mother was abused. She understood when to comfort him, when to chide him and when to just listen to him and how to fall in line with his strangeness. 

Elia gave credit to Rhaegar too for their relationship growth. He never backed out on her, always listened to her council and paid heed to her wishes. Soon, their political marriage turned into a friendly acquaintance. Otherwise how would they sustain the storm of madness that was Aerys together if they were not in sync with each other? 

The relationship between Rhaegar and Aerys worsened with each passing moon, there came a time when both father and son didn't even look eye to eye. Soon, they left Kings Landing in the name of Rhaegar taking his princely duties and settled in Dragonstone. 

**_F irst pregnancy_ **

Dragonstone was made in the likes of Valyria and it was grim and harsh. Blistering sun and raging storms marred their days. But Rhaegar and Elia were at peace; they could freely talk and plot without the prying ears of Aerys Lickspittles and sent envoys to Dorne to gather allies for their conspiracy against the king. 

Elia's womb quickened and she found Rhaegar spending more time with her than with his books. Elia thanked the gods for this positive change in her husband. But there were nights when he preferred to stay in his chambers seeking for reclusion and solace and Elia never minded to give him privacy. 

Her health worsened as her belly grew large with child and her frail body couldn't bear the harsh climate of Dragonstone. Elia didn't want to return to Kings landing hell hole, so they travelled to Sunspear in haste. Rhaegar fussed over her the entire journey and Elia could not help but smile at her husband's antics. 

“They need not know about your morbid fascination with books and your cravings for privacy”, Elia warned Rhaegar before they stepped into Sunspear. My family may not make peace with your strange behavior as I did, she wanted to add but left unsaid. 

Elia and Rhaegar were made to share the same chambers and both decided to play along. Everything was perfect until one night when she saw Rhaegar mumbling in sleep, tossing feverishly from one side to another. 

His face was twisted in pain, he was grasping for breath and sweat trickled down his forehead. Elia was frightened and she tried to touch her husband, wake him from whatever nightmare that was plaguing him. He burnt with a fever and Elia gasped at how hot he was. 

The tossing stopped, his body cooled down and Rhaegar opened his eyes. And Elia didn't wish to look upon them. They were hollow with endless pain and fear, his face drained out of color, his pale skin looking even more pale making him look like a ghost, a haunted ghost to be specific. 

"What is going on", Elia asked with apprehension. 

"Nothing ", Rhaegar tried to sound casual. 

“It is not nothing ", Elia wanted to be calm but she shouted. 

"Elia, my love, I am fine", he gripped her shoulders and she jerked them off. 

"I deserve to know what is going on with you. I am your wife and we are going to have a child. You must tell me", Elia spoke in an iron tone, her hands across her heart bracing herself for the cruel truth. 

Rhaegar groaned and pushed his hands through his hair, a gesture he did whenever he was helpless, Elia noted but she was too alarmed to comfort him. 

"In time, Elia not now", Rhaegar looked defeated, his voice was little and broken. 

"And when is it? When I become another Rhaella and our child, another Rhaegar ", Elia lashed out. 

Rhaegar pulled away, "I am not my father", he spoke with barely contained anger and a lone tear slid through his eyes. 

Elia mentally cursed herself for comparing him with Aerys, she reached out to him to brush his tears away and he allowed her to do so. 

Elia cupped his cheeks and kissed the frown on his brows. She placed his head on her lap and gently ran her fingers through his hair and Rhaegar relaxed. 

"We made a vow, Rhaegar, a holy vow in front of the gods and you need to honor that. If there is something going on with you, it will affect me the most. Don't you think I should be aware of that", Elia tried to persuade him. 

Rhaegar closed his eyes, the forlorn expression on his face told Elia that he was contemplating on how to tell her. Judging his discomfort, "Why don't you start from the beginning", Elia suggested. 

What came next, Elia had never thought about it in her wildest dreams. Rhaegar told her everything from the grief surrounding his birth, to his long association with prophecies, his acquaintance with the ghost of high hearth to his visions of ice zombies. 

Elia's back ached, she was in the final month of her pregnancy and the weight of the baby drained her. She wished to rest but the nonsense her husband was speaking made her head spin with utter disbelief. 

He is mad; the bells in her mind rang a different sort of mad but mad nevertheless. Elia tried to push that thought away. 

"You think I am mad", Rhaegar spoke in his melancholic voice.

That, you are, Elia wanted to reply but something in the way he looked at her dejected and broken, made her bite back the reply. 

"Does anyone else know? " Elia hoped he didn't say this to anyone. 

"Arthur", Rhaegar's reply was short. 

"Of course", Elia sighed in relief. 

"I know my father's state of mind is well known. My brother had already started showing signs of madness. If I speak about visions and prophecies, I will be deemed a lunatic too", Rhaegar spoke like a man who very well understood the predicament he is in. 

Elia thanked the gods that sanity was left in her husband somewhere. There was only so much a person can take in one night and Elia had enough for a lifetime. Rhaegar rose from her lap and rolled over to the side of his bed. 

"You were so scared when I woke up", Rhaegar mentioned while Elia rested her head on his chest.

"I didn't want you to die before we secure the throne ", Elia’s answer was cold but her voice felt hollow to her. 

"Is it okay if I die later? “ he asked brushing the locks away from her face.

"Why not, I will be the queen regent. Doran and I will plot how to put our child on throne without any issue. And he is a much better conspirator than you are", Elia replied. 

Rhaegar was fanning her face with his fingers and they settled at the tip of her eyes. "You are a pathetic liar, Elia", Rhaegar chuckled before wiping the wetness from her eyes. 

**_After Harrenhal tourney_ **

A storm was raging on the outside, the wind was howling, the sea was restless so was the baby inside her, kicking her every now and then. Sleep was far off from her eyes and Elia decided to glance through the window, perhaps the raging storm can pacify the restlessness in her heart. 

And she saw, her husband on the window of his chambers, carelessly leaning over the wall, Elia closed her eyes in frustration. She pulled over a shawl around her shoulder and set forth into his chambers. 

A chill ran down her spine when she entered his room, except for the lightening that stuck in the outside illuminating the room once in for a while, it was pitch black and cold. She wrapped the shawl tighter around herself and lit a lantern to get a better look of what her other worldly husband was up to. 

His hair was unbound, his long silk hair flowing wild with the wind, his face was turned sideways glancing at the waves crashing against one another, but his eyes were somewhere else, his face and tunic were drenched in rain but Rhaegar remained unfazed. 

"Another nightmare", Elia asked carefully tucking his hair behind his ear. Her husband rarely slept these days, one thing or the other kept him awake and Elia was worried about the state of his mind, though she never voiced it aloud. 

"The same one, again and again. Ice zombies with blue eyes killing babies and grown men alike. I tried to fight them and I failed", Rhaegar spoke with melancholy. 

"Didn't it show you a wolf maiden charging to protect her beloved prince", Elia wanted to jest but the bitterness and jealousy shone through. 

Rhaegar inhaled a sharp breath. And Elia waited with bated breath. They never spoke about the Stark girl, not after Harrenhal. She knew the truth, her reclusive husband had fallen for the vibrant wolf maiden. She was too proud to broach the topic and he was guilty. 

"I told you I was going to crown her if I won. She defended the honor of a weak banner man of her father against three burly squires. She deserved to be rewarded", Rhaegar told dejectedly. “If you were so pissed, why didn't you tell me your opinion then", his voice was strained. 

"Because you were utterly disappointed with how our plan for great council has gone awry. The Stark girl's reckless antics diverted your mood and I was happy that you were out of your melancholy. I thought my husband was sane enough to understand by next morning that a noble prince doesn't lust after another woman when his wife was pregnant with his second child ", Elia was shaking with anger. 

"I was not lusting"

"Do you want me to use the fanciful words of poets? Shall I call it eternal love? One that makes one of the most intelligent men behave like a complete fool", Elia had risked everything and she will not let things slip away because her husband behaved like a love struck green boy. 

"It was foolish", Rhaegar admitted. "I gave into my feelings. For once, I was just a man not the devoured prince who was trying to sell himself to the lords and people of Westeros to remove his deranged father. I was not the joker in the pathetic games the gods played. I was just a man who wanted to impress the woman who stole his heart".

"Do you want me to pity you, my love? “ Elia asked mockingly. "Do you know what it feels to be the wife of a man who is a prince, a poet and a prophet, one who indulges in too much self-pity?"

"It must be horrible, I guess", Rhaegar spoke and Elia laughed without mirth.

He continued, " I am sorry, Elia. But I am not ashamed of crowning her. Even though I am not not ashamed of hurting you".

"I wanted to strangle you for your idiocy", Elia confessed. 

"It would have been an honorable death for me", Rhaegar smiled and Elia snickered despite the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 

"Why her? " Elia asked him with hesitation. She was rubbing her shoulders with her hands. She didn't know what bit her more, the cold air of the storm or the cold confession of her husband. 

"You must be cold", Rhaegar stated and extended his hand. 

Elia wanted to jerk it away, you are drenched, she wanted to point out. But she took his hand nevertheless and adjusted herself on his lap. Beneath the rain soaked tunic, Rhaegar was warm, he was always warm. 

Rhaegar wrapped his one arm around her swollen belly and another around her shoulder, resting his chin on her shoulder blades. Elia leaned back on to his broad chest. 

"Why inflict pain upon yourself, love?” Rhaegar whispered in her ear but his voice was laced with guilt. 

"Because I deserve to know", Elia glanced sideways, her face inches apart from her husband, their noses almost touched and breaths inter mingled.

Rhaegar drew a sharp breath and turned his face away from her. "Because with her, I feel belonged. She is a misfit like me in this proper world. While I got buried under the weight of responsibilities and withered myself away, she seemed to fight for what she yearns, unashamed and unafraid. She has a vibrant thirst for life and when I am with her, I feel hopeful and happy too".

Elia's heart came to her throat. She bit her lips to control the wave of pain coursing through her and words came before she could stop them, "where did I lack?”

Rhaegar whipped around, "There is nothing you lack", he spoke looking into her eyes, “You are a kind woman, a perfect princess, a great mother and god knows you will be a wonderful queen. It is I who lack. I who don't deserve you".

"Do you expect it to sting less now?” Elia was not bitter anymore but the hurt was there. Rhaegar didn't respond to the question. 

Both of them sat in silence, Rhaegar looking over the waves pounding on the rocks mercilessly and Elia closing her eyes in contemplation. This is what their marriage had been, an odd comfortable silence, and a rock that stood the test of time. 

"We were thinking about getting you a second wife", Elia started squeezing Rhaegar's hand, “Lyanna Stark is a good choice", her voice came strained than she expected. 

Rhaegar snapped his head and his eyes were wide with shock. "No, we are going to call the great council and sway them to our cause. Starks are an honorable house. If we could win their trust and they swear fealty to us, we need not worry about them betraying us".

"We don't know what the Stark, Baratheon, Arryn and Tully alliance is about. They might be planning to dethrone your family. We can win three major houses even you marry Lyanna Stark even if Baratheons are offended", Elia voiced her thoughts. 

"If we could know what pushed the three houses to take such drastic steps, and offer them the same, we can avoid a rebellion. Besides, I don't think the Starks would be fine with breaking their oath to my cousin or want their daughter to become the second wife of a prince. On top of that, we need a man like Tywin Lannister to aid our cause. He is cunning and dangerous but he is a very capable man", Rhaegar continued their conversation. 

"It is true, it is easy to sway Lord Tywin if we give your hand to Cersei in marriage", Elia spoke and Rhaegar groaned,” But I think you should try to dissuade Lord Stark before you rule out the option of Lyanna Stark".

"Why are you so keen on this proposal?" Rhaegar asked in despair. 

"Because you love her", Elia spat back. 

Rhaegar's throat constricted in pain and his breathing hitched. He tried to cup Elia's cheeks but she moved away from his lap. 

"We have got everything planned already. I think we should focus on setting them into motion instead of bringing Lyanna Stark into the equation", Rhaegar shifted uncomfortably in his place. 

“We planned everything when we didn't know about the marriage alliances between the Starks, Arryns, Tullys and Baratheons. Now we need to change our plans accordingly", Elia answered. 

"I thought about it already. We need not change our course of action. We must act on them".

"You might be a dragon, husband but you can't burn everything on your way without getting burnt and burning us along with you. Too much is at stake and we can't rush things. We need to plan again. You must be patient and steadfast now not emotional", Elia knew the dangerous water they were treading when they decided to dethrone the mad king. 

"The time will freeze before you and Doran will allow me to take action", Rhaegar muttered under his breath. 

Elia laced her fingers with her husband’s. “The quicker the fire rages the faster it burns out, my love. I reiterate what I said before. Don't cast the option of Lyanna Stark away". Rhaegar closed his eyes with a sigh.

"You know me, dear husband. I am not someone to spite you or a young girl for falling in love, much to your luck. If we can find allies and you can find the happiness you were raving about minutes ago, I guess it is worth a try", Elia spoke softly though a tiny part of her heart ached at her words. 

Rhaegar looked at her in awe and respect, "Every time I marvel at the strength you carry beneath your kindness. I know you are suggesting this keeping the best interests of me, our children and the people in heart but I fear you will come to despise it in the long run"

"Why is that, my prince?” Elia asked in curiosity and confusion. 

"I know you are okay with me taking a second wife if that secures our survival and ascend to the throne, thanks to your liberal Dornish sensibilities of family. Cersei might be an ambitious woman and we may have to be constantly on the fence about the safety of our children but I know you are up for the challenge. Coming to Lyanna, she is a good woman and will never be a threat to you or our children but you won't be able to handle her because I love her."

Rhaegar's voice was calm and sympathetic but the words had cut her deep. "You give yourself too much importance, Rhaegar", Elia said bitterly. I don't love you; she wanted to say but didn't know how much of it was true anymore. 

Rhaegar gave her a sad look conveying that he knew the words she left unsaid. He pulled her into a hug, her head resting on his chest, his chin above her head. 

"I am not a good husband to you, Elia. But I don't want to be a terrible one", Rhaegar said, his warm lips briefly brushing over her forehead. 

**_Lyanna’s abduction and aftermath_ **

Rhaegar crumpled the letter in his fists and his face turned pale as ash, pain and fear danced in his implacable eyes and Elia knew something went terribly wrong. 

Elia cursed under the breath when she heard the news from Arthur. Just when things were falling in place for her and Rhaegar, the mad king had to throw them into disarray. Finally they were able to persuade the faith for Rhaegar's second wedding and were about to approach Tywin Lannister and orchestrate their long pending great council, the mad king ordered for the capture and death of Lyanna Stark for being the knight of laughing tree. 

"How can a plan be successful when an unpredictable mad dragon is involved in it", Elia muttered under her breath. “The death of Lyanna Stark meant enraging the Starks and Baratheons. Arryns and Tully's will enjoy them and probably every house that Aerys humiliated", the wheels in her mind started spinning but one look at her husband and she knew that he was thinking about none of these consequences. 

Rhaegar was only worried about the well-being of his lady love. He might have told Elia that he would not hurt her again and never mentioned about Lyanna Stark but she knew that he didn't stop loving her, wanting her. 

Rhaegar turned on his heels sharply without sparing a glance at her, his wife who went into horrendous labor to birth his heir, his promised prince in his own words, his companion in every plot and his support in every battle. It had hurt her, deeper than Elia thought it could. 

He stopped at the door abruptly turning his head in guilt and shame, Elia saw the rigid sense of honor binding his over powering emotions for his lover. She knew if she asked to stay back, he would obey her. Lyanna Stark might die and probably Doran and she would plan on how to direct the anger of Starks and other houses towards Aerys taking him down forever. 

But what about Rhaegar, the thought scared her. Her husband loved truly and deeply. She saw it in the way he cared for his mother, he worried for his children and pined after Lyanna Stark. He will become a shell of a man, inept to fulfill any responsibility, realization dawned on Elia and with a heavy heart, and she had let him go.

A raven came a fortnight later from her husband. Lyanna Stark was rescued but she was defiled. She tried to fight the soldiers and the men took her maidenhead forcefully to tame her. Rhaegar had married her to protect her honor and compensate for his father's crimes. They were on run from his father's men and advised Elia and children to flee to Sunspear. 

Little did she know that her good father would outwit them all in scheming. Stark Lord and his heir were killed in open court, Elia and children were imprisoned in the Red Keep, Rhaegar was made oblivious to everything going around. Aerys understood that his son loved the wolf girl when he left his wife and new born son to rescue her. He sent men behind them making Rhaegar flee and in the meantime was plotting to show him as incompetent so that he can cast him aside and put Viserys on his place. 

Rhaegar was intelligent, Elia knew that, their every plan till date was thwarted so she knew even though every contact with him is lost; he will realize that things went terribly wrong behind his back. She waited for his return, she prayed for her children's safety. 

**_The night before Trident_ **

Rhaegar stood at the entrance of the door, Elia didn't even spare him a glance. Rhaenys ran to her father, her daughter loved his father more than anything in the world. He picked their daughter and swung her around. Her careless laughter echoed in the room. 

Rhaegar went to the cradle and caressed the face of her son. "He has grown big", he said. 

“You were gone for too long", Elia replied nonchalantly. 

"I was unaware", he tried to defend. 

“Or became blind", Elia lashed out. 

Rhaegar rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. 

"My husband can sense danger from a mile away. But the stranger standing before me is a fool who became blind in marital bliss", Elia raised her chin daring him to defy her. 

Rhaegar still didn't respond. It is not time to blame, Elia convinced herself. 

“I heard you didn't bring Oswell and Arthur with you", Elia asked him

"Lyanna is alone and she needs safeguarding", Rhaegar replied. 

“Have you lost your bloody mind when you lost your heart?” Elia's voice was on a rise now, "You are the one going to war. You need them beside you, every man you can count on."

"We have enough men", Rhaegar countered. 

“Men are never enough in war. You are not made for wars, Rhaegar not like Ser Barristan, Arthur, Robert Baratheon or even Jamie Lannister ", Elia spoke calmly and a flash of hurt crossed Rhaegar's eyes. 

“I am not calling you weak or questioning your skill here, husband. You never liked the kiss of steel. While Robert will thrive in every man he killed, you will be buried further in guilt with every kill you make. You have the skill but you lack the heart"

"I know when things must be done, things a man doesn't like to do but he must to survive", Rhaegar replied. 

“I thought your Stark girl is capable to defend herself ", there was an icy edge to Elia's tone. 

Rhaegar hesitated, “She is with child".

Bile rose in Elia's throat hearing the answer. "At least you used your cock if not your brain."

"Criticize me as much as you want, Elia", Rhaegar said but he held her wrist, "You must come with me first", he took her outside the chambers to a secret passage. 

Rhaegar lit a lantern, and set forth into the tunnel with Elia trailing behind. "Remember the way", he said and continued further. Elia heard distant sounds of waves and winds howling. Rhaegar stopped and glanced at Elia. 

“I tried to convince my father to move you and children to Sunspear. But he is too paranoid to let you go fearing I will join the rebels once you and children are safe. If I fall in the war, we know most of our loyalists will abandon us. I don't know what Tywin will do. If I die, take this route and reach Blackwater Bay, Jace will be waiting for you to take you and children safely to Dorne", Elia stared at him in shock, in all her pain, she never cared to think about how to escape if Rhaegar died. 

They came back to their chambers. Rhaegar read a bed time story to Rhaenys and tucked her in while Elia sang Aegon to sleep. Tomorrow was the biggest battle of their lives and Elia and Rhaegar were wracked with nerves. Sleep was far from their eyes. 

"If given a chance, what would have you differently, Elia?” Rhaegar asked breaking the eerie silence between them.

"I would want our children to grow in Sunspear and for us to rule Dorne", she replied. 

Rhaegar held her hand in gratitude for not giving up on him.

Elia squeezed back. “I know you would have wanted to be second or third son of a minor lord so that you could pursue your dream of being a singer."

"No, not anymore", Rhaegar replied. "I spent so much time on grieving the deaths of my family than thanking the gods that I survived the wildfire. I was worried about failing in the Great War against evil but never concerned myself with the wars that men waged on men. I wanted to be a savior and I failed to be a honorable man. If given a chance, I don’t want to chase prophecies or look for signs; I want to be a responsible prince and a good husband … to you. For the great war, we will prepare everyone to fight for their survival."

Elia gave a genuine smile. She cupped his face hushing him, "Listen Rhaegar. We can still win this. Just don't lose focus and don't break under your guilt in the war."

Elia didn't know who made the move first but they were kissing, all the fear, pain, anguish, guilt and love pouring in. 

**_At Trident_ **

One misstep, Rhaegar found Robert's hammer hitting his chest; the sheer force cracked his armor, shattered his ribs and punctured his lungs. He was drowning in water and was coughing blood. With the last remaining strength, he whispered Lyanna, his love that brought demise to everyone he cared about. Before his eyes shut forever, Rhaegar saw the sun shining brightly in the sky, its orange hue enveloping him in its warmth. 

**_I n Kings Landing_ **

Elia was thrown into a room, her baby boy was taken from her and his head was smashed against the wall. Rhaenys tried to bite the soldier but he slapped her and she ran calling for her father with bloodied cheeks. Elia tried to run after her daughter, but the monster of a soldier dragged her like a ragged doll and shoved her onto the bed. She landed with a thud, her face buried into the pillow; the man tore her dress and closed her mouth with the hand that was still smeared with the blood of her dead son. 

Muted sobs escaped her lips when he thrusted into her, each minute more painful than the previous one. Elia knew this was not going to end anytime soon until she was torn and broken from within. She scanned the room and noticed them to be Rhaegar's chambers. 

Elia remembered her naked-self standing before her shy and guilty husband on the day of her wedding night. How gently he held her and kissed her. She remembered the evenings he played harp with her in his lap. The one time they brought Rhaenys here and how she cried unable to sleep in the unknown castle. Rhaegar and she took turns singing to her and eventually slept on either side of their daughter with their hands intertwined. 

The man turned her and removed his hand from her mouth, her loins were bleeding, skin burned with his nail marks, but no cry came out of her lips. He slit her throat and left. 

In the night, some soldiers came to remove the bodies and clean the room as Robert wanted to use Rhaegar's chambers instead of the King's to rest. 

In the silver light of the moon shining through, they saw Elia lying naked, cold and dead on her husband's bed. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Elia and Rhaegar were both intelligent, trapped in a political marriage and there was so much scope, so many layers to their bond. He was not a heartless man, Elia was not a weak princess and their relationship was not loveless.
> 
> I hope I still got Rhaegar portrayed as a flawed man, but not a villain.


End file.
